They Will Break Our Hearts Over and Over and Over Again

I was at last Friday's game against the Flyers at the Garden, for which I purchased tickets handsomely priced tickets in the Blue Seats once it became clear that the last two games were a death match playoff showdown.  Leaving the Garden after the game, I thought that the Rangers actually looked strong enough to take the Flyers back to Philadelphia and hand them a loss to squeeze into the playoffs. 

 I know now that they fooled me, once again, with Rangers Trickery.   Following Friday's win, a more clear-eyed (sober) fan would have known that winning on the road against the Flyers was going to require that the Rangers exhibit that same stamina, grit, and scoring in a second, consecutive game.  That same fan would have then correctly realized the upcoming game in Philadelphia was completely un-fucking-winnable for this particular group of Rangers, and that the playoffs were still as much of a pipe dream as they were 4 weeks ago.  A similar example of this Rangers Trickery is last years playoff series against the Caps, when the Rangers handedly fooled me into believing they could advance to the semifinals by taking Ovechkin and Friends to game 7.  Well played, Blueshirts.  What you lack in talent you certainly make up for in deception.

So what happens next?  (Aside from renewing your ticket package.  Might as well save your breath ranting about a bad on-ice product and just pony up, Ranger Fan.)    Well, "break-up day" was Tuesday, and most of the Rangers expressed their desire to return next year to the beat reporters who were present.  Basically it should have been called "Pack Up Your Shit and Get the Hell Out, Olli Jokinen Day" instead.  Noted asshole and NHL coach John Tortorella used Break-Up Day as an opportunity to slander one of the league's top goal scorers, Marion Gaborik, to the New York sports media, calling the top line's play "despicable."  Selling heroin to little kids despicable, stealing money from state pension funds is despicable.  Failing to score a goal in an important hockey game isn't despicable, it's just disappointing.  I guess even Torts is above blaming goalies (unless the goalie is Stephen Valiquette), which made Gabby is the next-highest profile target.  Sorry, our Slovakian pal, that's just Torts giving you some tough love for scoring 41 goals this year.  It's his little way of saying "thanks, without you I would probably be getting fired right now."  As per his yearly Spring tradition, Torts finished his press conference by spraying those in attendance with water and brandishing Aaron Voros' stick at them, then watching the rest of Break-Up Day from a press box.

Also, rumors.  Here's one that won't die every single off season: the Rangers are going to trade for Brad Richards.  Not going to happen.  As Steve Ott once said, "You don't just [trade for] Brad Richards like that!"  I'm not sure why people seem to think the Blueshirts have the cap room for this.  They don't, not even close.  Plus this trade would probably require sending Brandon Dubinksy and/or Most Brave and Loyal Alternate Captain Ryan Callahan to Dallas.  If they trade Cally I'm becoming an Coyotes fan, I swear.

The roster next year is going to be remarkably similar to this year's squad.  I don't think Olli Jokinen will be back.   He is not very good at hockey anymore!  I'm being polite about Olli because watching him play hockey, while trying at times, beat the shit out of watching Chris Higgins and Ales Kotalik "play" hockey.  By the way, way to get yourselves fired, Sutter Brothers.

This morning, I caught the highlights of the Colorado-San Jose game in which the Avalanche came back to win the thing with a minute left in the third period.  With the clock ticking down, they cycled the puck in the zone, refused to give it up, went hard to the net, and scrambled the San Jose defense until Chris Stewart banked a bad-angle shot off of Evgeni Nabokov to pot the game winner, more less telling San Jose, "eff this noise we're winning this shit, in regulation, whether you like it or not, you dumb Sharks."  It was the kind of tenacious, crafty goal that can take the wind right out of a higher seeded team's sails.  Basically, it was the kind of goal the Rangers never score.

In closing: Dear Rangers, please try harder not to suck next year.  I don't think is unreasonable.

The Playoff Push, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Last Month of the Season

There are many things that characterize Rangers fandom.  Of course, there is the pride inherent to supporting an original six franchise with a rich hockey tradition and a few championships under its belt (include one after World War II!).  There's the Garden itself, a hallowed venue that seems to shake from the roar of the crowd.  There's the regal colors of the Rangers jersey and the team's crest , both tributes to the history and future of the franchise.  And there are also the less-than-glorious facets of loving the Blueshirts.  There's nine-dollar Bud Light, the Silence of the Suits in the expensive seats, and Dancing (Homo) Larry.   Much like the rich tradition of the Rangers franchise itself, these things will never go away.  And as fans, we have adapted these things.  We have learned to live with them.

And so too, have we adapted and learned to live with the newest Rangers tradition: the Annual Furious Push for a Playoff Spot.  Every season since the lockout, the Rangers have finished their season with a last-ditch effort to squeeeeeeeze into the postseason, hoping for a chance to upset a higher seeded team in the first round and throw the dice on the semifinals.  

Usually, in late February or early March, there is an event that serves as a harbinger of the impending Push.  Last year, it was replacing moderately successful coach Tom Renney with noted asshole John Tortorella, who dismissed any fears we fans may have had regarding his mettle by dowsing Captials fans in water and menacingly brandishing Aaron Voros' stick at them.  The year before that, Jaromir Jagr initiated the Push by announcing the press that, after resting for the first 70 games of the season, he was now prepared to really devote himself to the scoring of goals.  This year's harbinger of the Push is twofold.  The first prong is Sean Avery's two-goal game against Philadelphia, in which he drew four penalties and deftly hid Braydon Coburn's stick from him.  The second is Avery's performance against Montreal, during which he slashed Scott Gomez's leg hard enough to earn a game misconduct.  Much like Jagr's explicit announcement that he would begin actually exerting individual effort during games in order to carry our team to the playoffs, Sean Avery has announced to the world that he will act like as much of an asshole as it takes to get this goddam team to the post season.  And thus, Rangers fans, our Playoff Push begins.

Many fans have come to loathe the Playoff Push.  "Why," they cry out, "does this happen every fucking year!?!?!?  Why can't they just clinch a spot early on!"  And these fans are weak.  Loving the Rangers is not about taking the easy way out.  A high seeding in the playoffs secured weeks before they begin?!  NO THANK YOU, KIND SIR.  Unlike the those diving, top-seeded girly men (here's looking at you, Sid), gazing down their noses at us from the top of the Conference standings, the Rangers will take a down-and-out Springtime dogfight to for that 8th seed any day of the week.   And that's just fine with this guy.  If I can't watch Hank hoist this team onto his brave Swedish back for the entire month of March to lock down the bottom seed of the playoffs, then I don't want to watch the playoffs at all.  The sweetest victories are the ones that are the hardest-fought.  The Rangers make the playoffs because they refuse to not make the playoffs. 

If you want an easy ride to the conference finals, buy yourself the Center Ice package and watch all the Penguins games from now until April.   But then you would miss Hank summoning his superhuman resolve to win, Avery terrorizing every team on the Eastern seaboard, and Callahan murderously throwing himself at anything that moves in the other team's jersey.  The Rangers might not make it past the first round, and they might not make the playoffs at all.  But, despite Wade Redden's best efforts, they won't roll over and say die at the end of the season. 

The Question of Kovalchuk

There are only a handful of teams in the NHL that have the assets, budget or cap space to made a legitimate bid for Ilya Kovalchuk.  The Rangers certainly have the assets, at which point cap space becomes moot because they can clear enough room to sign the crafty Russian wing.  And budgetary concerns, obviously, have never been a real problem for this team.  So if Sather were so inclined, he could probably land Kovalchuk.  Regardless of the team's downward trend, players want to play in New York.  Kovalchuk is probably no different.

So the question becomes, should Sather make a run at Kovy?  I don't think there's any question the Don Waddell and his pals in Atlanta will want some combination of players involving Callahan, Dubinksy and Staal.  The Thrashers will want two of the three, if not all of them.  Waddell has to get a big return here - he failed (again) to sign a franchise player.  Two years ago, he was forced into trading Marian Hossa at the deadline to Pittsburgh, and before that, he couldn't keep Dany Heatley in Georgia (though his departure from the team had more to do with an off-ice incident).    Waddell never successfully built a team around his top talent - the best Thrashers squad to date, one that featured both Hossa and Kovalchuk, was handedly dispatched in the first round of the playoffs by Jagr & the Rangers.  It was Atlanta's only trip to the postseason in the history of the franchise.

To land Kovalchuk, the Rangers would have to give up the best talent the organization has developed in decades, home grown players that management and fans alike have come to see as the future of the team.  Is it worth it?  Hard to say.  Kovy is a world class talent.  He's a point-a-game player, and a game breaker.  It's pretty enticing to go after him when you consider the Rangers would wind up with two elite scorers, Gaborik and Kovalchuk, on the same team, possibly even the same line.  It's a combination that's brings to mind Datsyuk and Zetterberg, Toews and Kane and maybe if you really want to push it a little bit, Crosby and Malkin.  But are the ends worth the means?  Probably not.

Trading Staal, Dubinksy and/or Callahan would leave an already Rangers transparent team with even less depth (if you can imagine that).  The loss of Staal would basically leave the Blueshirts with a gaggle of incompetent defenseman and Michael Del Zotto.  The departue of Cally and/or Dubinksy would leave such  enormous holes in the powerplay/PK/depth/heart department, and no assets with which to fill them.  Also keep in mind that a tandem of elite goal scorers doesn't guarantee a deep playoff run, or any playoff run at all.  Atlanta couldn't get it done with Hossa and Kovalchuk, and the Red Wings, of all teams, are currently on the playoff bubble.  So landing a second sniper wouldn't necessarily solve the Rangers problems, the most glaring of which are the team's soft defesne and complete lack of secondary scoring. 

Still, Kovalchuk is so, so good.  It's a tough call.

If Sather were to make a deal that brough Kovalchuk to New York, it would be a departure from the teams "superstar and supporting cast" model that they built during the Jagr years, during which it was a pretty successful.  The 2007-2008 Rangers were pretty good, and the 2006-2007 squad was really good.  Good enough, in my opinion to gotten at least as far as the conference finals if they had been able to steal one more game from Buffalo at the Garden during the semifinals. 

Realistically, the one superstar paradigm is probably the best one for this organization.  Signing Kovalchuk long term, not as a rental, would be great for the team, but in the long run would prevent management from filling the gaps in the auxilliary spots - depth on the third and fourth lines and a more solid, puck moving defensive corps.  Depth and defense win championships.  Instead of going after Kovy, which would give the team even less options for getting a few of it's albatross contracts (Rosivzal, Redden & Drury) off the books, Sather should build around Gaborik, even if it means this year's playoff push will get particularly ugly and might not even end with a spot in the top 8.  The trade deadline is coming up, and free agency looms large in July.  There's talent out there to be signed that won't require the Rangers mortaging their future on the premise that one player will turn the franchise around.  If Gaborik can't carry this crew to the playoffs on his own, then no one, not even Kovalchuk, can do it.  The Rangers need depth in the long run more than they need goals in April.

Dear Rangers: Are You Smoking Crack?

After last night's game against the Flyers, during which Gaborik caught a  beatdown from caveman and noted heavyweight Daniel Carcillo, there is no room subtlety.

HEY RANGERS ARE YOU SMOKING CRACK!?!?!?!11!>?!!>!

Marian Gaborik.  Best player on the team.  By a longshot.  Without him, they're a draft lottery contender, no question.  So, naturally, when he's getting beat up, you do what anyone would do.

You watch!

How can you watch Philly's most notorious goon (and this is a Philly team with like, four of them) beat up Marian Gaborik (the best player on the team, in case you forgot)?  If Gabby gets injured in a fight, the season's more or less over.  Unfortunately for us fans, Hank cannot score goals, he can only prevent them.  Without Gabby no one will score goals except Ryan Callahan, sometimes, and Vinny Prospal, four months ago.  This kind of thinking would seem to dictate that you might want to jump on in there and break up a fight that Gabby is in, especially when he is losing it so badly!  Well think again, because the guys on the ice were happier watching it all go down than actually doing something.

The whole episode speaks to a larger problem with this squad.  They don't respect the sweater.  What happened when no one stepped in last night was that the team and its fans were embarassed.   There's a tradition involved here.  Sure, the Rangers have only won four cups, but they're a historic team.  Wearing a Rangers jersey is not like wearing a Thrashers jersey, or a Stars jersey.  Few players on this team seem willing to either stand up for that tradition or expand on it.  Many of these guys are collecting a paycheck.  Before last night, I would be pretty reluctant to write that a lot of the Rangers don't really care how the team fares, or about what the jersey means.  But now, it's pretty clear that they don't.  Dan Girardi and the rest of the guys on the ice didn't think they had to step in.  The first problem, there, is that they had to think about it.  That kind of back up should be instinctive.  Secondly, it's pretty instructive on how they see the team.  The leading scorer, noted for being an injury prone player, is getting his ass handed to him by Carcillo, who's an animal.  What the hell would make you think you don't need to do anything?

And now the guys who were out there feel bad they didn't do anything, feel like they should've stepped in.  Seriously?  I feel bad that I care so much about a team that doesn't really seem to care at all.  Basically, in closing, ARE YOU SMOKING CRACK RANGERS?!?!!?!?!/1  PROTECT MARIAN GABORIK.  

Blues v. Blueshirts Road Trip

Last weekend, I was lucky enough to take a Rangers road trip to St. Louis, to visit my good friend Taylor and watch my good friends the Rangers play some hockey. 

Even though the Rangers disappointed, turning in a lackluster effort to give up a 4-1 loss, it was an excellent evening.  The Scottrade Center, where the Blues play, is a great place to watch a game.  The fans are knowledgable, Jersey-clad, and they pack the arena.  I wouldn't be surprised if the game was sold out.  In my 23 years, the only other Rangers road games I've seen have been in New Jersey, including one notable Rangers win in early 2008 that my friends and I celebrated by instigating a drunken, prolonged brawl with some middle-aged Devils fans in the hallways of the Prudential Center after the game.  Classy, I know!

But Blues fans are a very, very different bunch from the cave-dwelling subhumans that follow Marty Donuts and his pals out in Newark.  Our seats were awesome, probably five rows behind the glass.  Even in the lower bowl, almost everyone was in Blues gear.  Maybe there aren't as many corporate seats at ice level at the Scottrade Center, but there was no Silence of the Suits in the good seats, a phenomenon that, unfortunately, has spread to the Garden.  There were some scattered Rangers colors in the crowd as well, including one fella in a Richter jersey who left when the Rangers started losing.  Stay for the whole game and take your lumps when they lose, amigo!  I opted for my Shanahan home jersey (a peace offering to the home team, or a sign of disrespect?  I figured I'd let the locals decide).  We took our seats and began guzzling beer, so that if Rangers Road Brawl Round II did go down, at least it wouldn't hurt until the next morning.

Blues fans are a solid, solid bunch though.  We were invited to watch the game in a sky box by a friend of a friend, a fan of the home team, no less, who was having a birthday party up in the rafters.   I'll say this: If my friends and I were having a party in a skybox at the Garden (assuming one of the afformentioned friends had won the lottery or recently come into a vast inheritance), and someone we didnt know arrived wearing the colors of the opposing team, I doubt the first words out of our mouths would be "Hey, want a beer?"  But these Blues people, they have real class.  They welcomed us into their skybox with firm midwestern handshakes, gave us many Bud Lights (and pretzels!), and pretty much just wanted to bro down.  Even though the Rangers lost a totally winnable game, it was a great night. 
The Rangers got pushed around all night, giving up four goals including one empty netter.  In my opinion, the jury is still out on Chad Johnson.  My intuition is that he won't last.  As for the rest of them, I think we've all learned to temper our expectations for this bunch.

Let's Just Call it a Rebuilding Year

The Rangers uninspired effort against a the less talented, road-weary Panthers squad highlighted all of the serious problems that have plauged the team this season: no secondary scoring whatsoever, ineffective defense, an utter lack of grit and giving up soft goals.

But that's been true of pretty much every game the Rangers have played since the end of October.  So here's a bold statement: this team is bad.  They're not in a slump, they're not still putting together their lines and chemistry, they're not still learning a run-and-gun system that's totally unfamiliar to them.  They play hockey badly, and lose most of their games.

The Rangers can't sustain offensive pressure, make countless turnovers in every area of the rink, and have literally no scoring outside of their top line.  The players are not only struggling to keep up with opposing teams, they're also struggling to keep up with the pace of their own system.  At this point in the season, some of the blame has to fall on Tortorella.  Granted, benching players is difficult when the team is dealing with serious injuries to two of its top-six fowards, which also rules out sending veteran guys to Hartford.   Instead, the system needs some tweaking.

From a fan's perspective, this is a bummer of a season.  They're awful to watch and they don't seem to really care.  Unfortunately, my roommate is an Islanders fan.  Watching the Isles lose to the Blues the other night, I found myself thinking "I wish the Rangers played like this."  And that's the biggest bummer of them all.

11-9-1: If Your Record Looks Like This Then You're Doing It Wrong

This season, there are two crucial players on the Rangers: Marian Gaborik and Henrik Lundqvist. The Blueshirts go as Hank and Gabby go.   Much like most other nights in the last month and a half, Hank and Gaborik were the only two Ranger players who made a difference in last night's game against OV and the Caps.

Since the beginning of October, nagging issues have become glaring problems for the Rangers. Secondary scoring is non-existant. No player except Gaborik scores on a consistent basis. In addition to having abosolutely no snarl, the defense lacks cohesion. The powerplay that roared out of the gate is hobbling along, and penalty kill has gone from good to mediocre.

Interestingly, the John Tortorella we saw in training camp is nowhere to be found. To be fair, if he were to try to hold everyone on the team accountable for their mistakes by benching individual players, then only Hank, Gabby and Vinny Prospal would play every night. But come on, Torts - where's that hot fire bro?!  Have a public feud with a player! Get these guys going! Swear at Larry Brooks! Menacingly brandish a stick at a fan after squirting him with water! I'm tired of Even Keeled Torts. I want Bad Torts back - the Torts who claims not to know the names of all the players on his team, then sends the group of alleged strangers he's been hired to coach on a five mile run just because he feels like it. Bad Torts scares and punishes players until they win.  Bad Torts got them to the playoffs last season, and Bad Torts sent them hurdling out of the gate like man-eating, goal hungry hyenas at the beginning of this season.  We need that guy back. 

A performance this dismal, though, can't really be blamed on the coach. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink - the team has to want to win. The Rangers horse hasn't been particularly thirsty lately, apparently. I wouldn't necessarily say that the Rangers are calling it in. They're not. The effort is there, but it needs to be more focused. The powerplay needs to get strong again, and the even strength attack needs to be more sustained. Most importantly, these guys need to start finishing on quality chances. This is a problem that's plagued this team sinces the lockout. Elite players bury the puck whenever they see daylight in the back of the net, especially when they're right on the crease. The Rangers fan on those kinds of shots pretty regularly, and those are the ones that can really make a difference in a game. One timers come around once in a while, and snipers like Kotalik and Gabby pick their spots whenever they can. But there are quality rebounds in every NHL game. The Rangers need to start capitalizing on them.

The Rangers don't play again until Saturday against the Panther at MSG. Hopefully, they're at the practice facility in Westchester right now, where Torts is punishing them until they do it right.